Friday, 30 January 2009

A Whinge and a Whine

I am seriously out of sorts and cranky.  Both Tony and I had "tough" days and it was all too much.
As usual he came home close to 9pm.  

I had been home for hours and I found myself asked by Geni ( almost 14) to magically front up with another $300 overnight so she could sign up for netball.  For 6 weeks I have been asking her foe sign up details; how much, where, when, uniform etc.  Did I get this information a week ago? Nooooooo.  Today at 10am to 2pm they are signing up for extracurricular netball at an obscure oval miles from any train station and Tony is not around. 

This would not be an issue except on tuesday I shelled out $2000 for school fees for both Leonnie and Geni not to mention uniform and text books.  Now these are NOT expenses Tony and I share, because tony is not their father and although Leonnie lives largely with her father, he never pays a cent towards her care, clothing, hygiene or education.  It was a huge spend in one week.  There was no leeway to stretch until next week and I hate saying no to them.  I was frustrated and in tears.  I know it is silly but it is how I reacted.

Tony obviously had a bad day and was looking for commiseration from me and I just didn;t have it.  He snapped at me and gave me an order and I refused to budge or change and snapped back.  Now, normally I bite my tongue as nothing is accomplished but last night I was at my very end and suddenly it was about me.

I felt terribly sorry for myself.  Noone has ever shared the load with me financially.  Always it has been me that carried the weight of raising and educating all my kids by myself.  Even though i have been with Tony for 5 years now he has never contributed financially to my burdens, although in all honesty I have backfilled for him and subsidised him throughout this time.  I buy all the food, pay all the utilities, pay half the house.roof over head expenses as well.  
So last night when I wanted and needed understanding and support, did I get that from him? Oh no.  I got childish flouncing, ordering em to behave and not express how I feel and snatching away my current phone body.  Please note he bought himself an iPhone last Saturday and I asked for his iMate so because I had an attitude he snatched away the iMate and hid it.  Really mature.

So there you have it - I am feeling sorry for myself and depressed.  And i now have no mobile hone having given my own one to leonnie as her phone wasn't working. 

I suppose I will clean the house.

More 1 month gone

The annual monster who eats time has demolished and devoured an entire month.  Seriously I feel as if I have just blinked and the month is gone. Well and truly gone. 

Finally I have sat down here with five minutes to spare before the family all wake up and the day starts chewing at me.  

I have settled at wordpress and mirror the posts exactly at js.  Here I will JUST update once a weekand shall learn this platform since I have to have an account to read my favourites anyways.   Wordpress is easy to use and stabile as....  jayessse is a spam ridden bit of a nightmare, but some souls have staunchily stuck there and as it has always been about people, I will maintain a little presence with no great effort on my part for ease of keeping up.  

But Xanadu, it is wonderful to find /rediscover you here.  I ahev missed you and did miss you on deletion at jayesse.  TP, you always make me thin k and I enjoy wandering with you a while each day so  I don;t wish to lose you, either.  And Judy I want to keep you too.  

Greedy little munchkin aren' I?

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Let's see what this feels like

Inhale..... new year, new work week and a new blog. Things are moving swimmingly forwards with life and the year seems alreayd to be galloping ahead...