To all antipodeans in the right states, please remember daylight savings changes in the wee small hours last night.
When I awoke at 7.17 am it was in fact now 6.17am. Turn back your clocks, adjust settings on your mobile phone and check fax machines. Hey presto, we are done again. Now the ramp down into winter will fall around us rapidly.
I spoke briefly to Tony asking him what his problem is and if he was going to speak. He pointed out he doesn;t like my reactions as it seems to be about my feelings. Well, yes. If I don't care for my feelings - who will? Since none else does, then I must! Needless to say I am not backwards in expressing myself.
He came out with some interesting statements - like HE wants me to get out and start doing things. All well and good if I am not paying my share and his share of expenses. Then I MIGHT be able to afford to do what I want to on occasion. Once the move is over and done with and I am settled, I will have a few dollars behind me (eventually) and then he needs to watch out because I SHALL be getting out and doing what I want to.
I did make the point that it is not his place to decide what I needed to do, to be or to learn. The only person who can do that IS me. And I am not a naughty 2 year old. I did suggest that he and I needed to sit down and talk about what OUR approach to Geni is and then the three of us sit down together so there was not such a disparity in handling things. Yes I know we have changed plans for Geni but I have also turned my life upside down for his plans with Nick with never a bad feeling or complaint.
Oh, I apparently have a Farm Town obsession. Yes, I know it is a silly little facebook flash game, but it has been fun and a focus for me. So I get a bit anal, planning, planting and harvesting crops..LOL.
He came to the soccer game today. He even enjoyed himself. I did too. Geni's team won 9-3 and it was the first game of the soccer season.
When we came home Tony asked me if I received the money he transferred. I did. It was only half the bond and half the rent we need to move into the new place. Plus within 2 weeks we should have the previous bond returned. he mentioned that had just about cleaned him out. Now if I payed his 1076 dollars from last months rent as well as my own ( since he walked out when rent was due) and DID have my half of everything( I just couldn;t cover HIS half this time) I must ask what his income has been?? Or perhaps that is why he sent out statements -to get his customers to pay so he does have income?
I suspect his anger and nastiness with me was because I have insisted he pay his half. I organised the bank cheque for the bond ( 1800) so that is 900 from me and 900 from him. So, I asked him for his 900. We each then come up with 450. Which we did plus 8 dollars for prep fee. What has changed is that I am not underwriting his flying lessons, his diving, his travel overseas...I will pay my way, of course, but nothing else any more. That has changed.
What else has changed? I am not taking any more shit.
Weekend
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Went up to the bay for the weekend - the oil slick hadn't hit Tin Can yet.
That is the view from the deck of Mum's beach house - naturally, whenever I
take...
1 year ago
Well, I certainly learned that the moving of time is not universal. I'm still searching for that hour I lost a few weeks ago when we sprung forward. And although it's Spring, I've seen no sign of it. Still snowing in the midwest.
ReplyDelete"Our approach...Geni" ..Good choice of words there, Maggs. I was a rotten, horrible step-child when I was a teenager. I do have to give my step-father credit, tho. He was a good guy and he tried and tried. I was the horse's arse. One of those is enough in a family :)
I do also know about how we as mothers will defend our children and how we get our feathers ruffled when the "new" spouse imposes new rules, discipline and punishments.
They both need to respect each other. Don't ya think? And they need to respect you as well. That should be a given.
I am with you on all of this Shannon. Geni can be a brat and you know me well as a mother too. OUR approach is the operative approach. WE agree and then we sit down and nut it out with Geni and then gain her agreement. Then enforce. She will stretch and push. I know this. This is part of being 14. Bu I am so tired of being torn apart in all directions and loving till my stuffing falls out. I think I just need a few weeks of peace!! And concensus.
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence summed it up very well. You shouldn't HAVE to take any more shit. Enough is enough. Sounds like you have a good plan to make things work, and I SO hope it does work. We are all protective of our children, and Geni needs your help, as she is the child. He is the adult, and can defend himself. Continued prayers for you. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteI hope things go good from here on out. Best wishes Maggie! *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteI hate the time changes! *laughing* They always catch me by surprise, even after all these years!:o)
ReplyDeleteWhat a balancing act between being Wife and Mother. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers- Good luck with everything...
{{hugs}] and love- Gina
Dianne, THAT i how I feel. Exactly. In a nutshell. Yes Indeed, it is a fine tightrope I walk between mothering and partnering.
ReplyDeleteMaggs so is it good or is it bad?
ReplyDeleteYou've got to be very honest with yourself about it, because you're just putting grief into a high interest term account otherwise.
You see farmwrold is one of the reasons I'm trying to really limit my time on FB, there are too many addictive games...
Still thinkign of you and the kids and hope the move goes well.
15 seems to be even tougher....Just wait. All you can do is all you can do.
ReplyDeleteThey snap out of it eventually..