Odd Saturday - whinge warning!!!

Bail now if you wish to avoid negativity, but/however, I need to lay things out in a way I can look at them so here is where I do this.

Over the last two weeks Tony has moved back in - sort of.
He has come by to visit and stayed, the first week and then last weekend moved some items of odds and ends in as well as his body.
Again.
largely it is business as usual.
We have been looking at places to move to. I have wanted this to be in MY name, after what he did last month and my own doubts as to where this will go, IF this will go. I do not want a repeat of the same.

Geni and Tony alternately snarl and snap at one another, but largely when I am NOT around.
There is nothing different, really in that - they have been doing that since Geni moved in a year ago.
Tony feels WE gave up everything for Geni and she is not suitably grateful/ respectful/ under control etc.
I see that you give to kids and for kids and do not expect a return. That you pick your battles and as she is 14 and so close to 18 and or independence, I am softer than he would like - on her and with her.
I am not autocratic but I can indeed draw a line in the sand and say an unequivocal NO when I should/need to.
largely I am open and understanding. I am not rigid.

In moving into this place, as Tony is moving with us and our finances are NOT shared ( and never have been) I have insisted HE pay half of everything. I have not always done so. Inf act I have underwritten his living and expenses while he got his business up and running and although I have the larger more reliable income, I also have larger outgoing, in that I am paying for leonnie's school fees, child support to leonnie's dad and all Geni's expenses as well as everything else.

When Tony left last month, I had to find an extra $1000+ to pay his share of the rental costs - unexpectedly.

On Friday in discussing via email the rental bond ( 4 weeks rent) and rent in advance ( 2 weeks) he mentioned he would transfer his half. I stressed the fact that IF he did not do so promptly that I would be unable to cover other expenses and live the next two weeks. He went very silent.

He transferred the money. I prepared and organised the appropriate bank cheques and have money to survive on as well for the next two weeks as we move. I fixed an appointment for 3pm Saturday to sign all paper work and hand over the cash.

I tried to discuss with him van rental; dates, times. I was told via text that he was "dealing with today and he would discuss this with me when he came home." Fine. Home I went and cleaned the current place top to bottom as yet again Saturday morning the selling agent had a viewing from 9.45am to 11am. For some reason I do not see WHY I have to be the only one doing this. But I was. But I ever have been. And I suppose if I want it done then I just bite the bullet and do it. So I did.

7.30pm he telephones and tells me he is sending out statements to his clients and he is up to R. 9.30pm he is still not home. When he makes it home I am somewhat tired so I just go to bed. In the evenign i had cooked up some chicken pieces in preparation for the weekend and five complete skinless thighs were cooling in the pan. As there was only Tony and I that would see/should see at least two meals. He came in and scoffed the lot. In one sitting.

Saturday saw me up bright and early finishing the bathroom and kitchen. We fled to Tess and Erik's (spending time with Lizzie and collecting Amy who was coming back to help me pack) and we collected a whole heap of boxes as well. The selling agent rang to compliment on how well the unit was presented.

On the way to sign the new lease, I initially tought I had left the bank cheque at home so Tony did a u turn. I then found it so he made a snide comment. I reminded him I needed to go to a Westpac bank to get the balance. I dislike paying an extra $2 per transaction to withdraw cash form another bank!! We pull into near the agency for our appointment and the bank he once believed was there is closed. How do I know this - he showed me this two weeks ago. I tromp off to find a bank and end up paying the extra.

We sign everything.
Amy and he are hungry and eat burgers and sausage rolls and we drive past the new place to show Amy. We drop her home and I emntion, on the way ( now two hours later) that I am hungry.
Tony snarls "well, you had your chance - now you can wait."
There were snide bitch comments, there was a plethora of this.

We deliver Amy and we stay a while and then I mention I would like to go as by this time I was feeling sick - it was hunger all right, but still. He sat there, and sat there... I looked at my a watch. I decided that if he did not move in 8 minutes I would walk out. Tess saw this and suggested it was time we left. Tony got the hint and we got in the car.

Driving along I suggested we stop off and I would pick up some chicken and prepare this. I suggested we collect a couple of dvd'sand he said money was tight so I suggested that was fine, I would just read. He said he didn;t want to pick them himself. he drove past the supermarket and stopped in front of the dvd store. I mentioned that he said money was tight and I though...so he stormed off.

At this point I chose not to race off after him and instead turned left and walked home. Along the way I got a number of text messages asking what I wanted - all of which I declined. By this time I was over it.

He came back. I made myself something and asked him what his problem was. I pointed out he had been mean and cutting to me all day and that I was hurt and disappointed. He said only that he had things to say to me. So I suggested that instead of bottling things up he should just say them. He is holding back hoping that I will agree with his assessment of me and I don't. Suffice it to say he switched on the idiot box ( TV) and disappeared into that saying not one word. I took my book, after Ihad organised the soccer changes for today and went to bed.

What is his problem? I know he thinks it is me - but I don't beleive I am the problem.