Time flies

I seem to catch a moment or two to live along side during my frantic race through the multitude of small things which makes up my day and cumulqatively my life, but sometimes I feel a need to just sto0p and look.

Altready we are moving into June and that is yet another half a year chewed through. I know I have lived through much and learned a lot but if pressed I could not sit down and draw huge brush strokes to mark the passing of this time. I have stopped not global conflicts nor saved anything or anyone in dire need. Rather my life appears currently to be lived in the quiet small moments that amass and thn fall away - perhaps forgotten.

My fitness plan is moving apace and I am thoroughly enjoying each moment at the gym. I am currently resisting the temptation to go overboard with this and to pace myself.

Tagged by Xanadu

1) What is your current obsession? 
Fitness and optimum health - I am on a 12 week body blitz ; curious to see what the best me could be - physically.

2) What are you wearing today?
Black leggings with a white seam down the side, white socks, a black long sleeved t short and a black white and grey cardi...  I shall leave my underthings to anyone's imagination 

3) What's for dinner?
Grllled fish on a bed of wilted english spinach with mushrooms and a squeeze of lime and loads of garlic and ginger

4) What would you eat for your last meal?
Barramundi grilled in a white wine and butter flavoured avocado sauce. Lemon cheesecake.

5) What's the last thing you bought?
A train ticket to get Lonnie home with me last night

6) What are you listening to right now?
The silence of a winter morning, punctuated by the laughter of 4 kookaburras trying to get me out on the back vernadah with morsels of meat to feed them.

7) What do you think of the person who tagged you?
I have read her for some time and always come back to read about her life.  Her honesty and candour and loyalty is refreshing.

8) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
I would like a place in Glasgow in Anniesland - not far from the station and in a refurbed old warehouse/tenement, with wood panelled walls and light twinkling in the double glazed windows, with underfloor heating.  I would like another one in Gulshan n the outskirts of Mumbai, and another on Denman Island (between Vancouver Island and the mainland - Canada)- a log cabin.  And one right where I m now.   Is that too much to ask?

9) If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
To Tess' place to spend some time with Her, amy and my two grandbabies!!

10) Which language do you want to learn?
I need to resue some of my Arabic and Hindi - I am out practise.

11) What's your favourite quote (for now)?
"I trust, but I verify!!"  from Gorbachev's autobiography!!.

12) What is your favourite colour?
Blue but I am also fond of red and yellow and orange...and green..LOL

13) What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
My black boots

14) What is your dream job?
I am in it.. someowhere I can help people grow

15) What's your favourite magazine?
Don't have a favourite.. although will buy any magazine for health hints and tips and for crosswords ( not necessarily in that order.

16) If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
A new refrigerator

17) What are you going to do after this?
read and do some work on Farm Town

18) What are your favourite films?
Too many to name.

19) What's your favourite fruit?
Strawberries, passionfruit, crisp tart green apples sliced so thin that eating them raises goosebumps

20) What inspires you?
Beauty, loyalty, caring, selflessness

21) Your favourite books?
Anything printed

22) Do you collect anything?
Black and white cows, children, family, people I love, thoughts, artwork, bags..LOL boots

23) What are you currently reading?
King Arthur - Dragons Child by M.K. Hume

24) Where do you want to be in five years? Loved and loving

25) By what criteria do you judge a person?
I try not to.  However I have a low tolerance level for fools or malicious souls.  


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The rules:
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention. 
2. Tag eight other people. Tagging, with love: Dorrie, Dustbunny, Lermontov, Chaz, Wizardress, Fin, SilentWhisper, and Justfly. Anyone, though, please feel free to participate (or not) just as you desire.

Shivers

Winter nibbles my bare fingers in my very own loungeroom as I type this.    Outside I can see the grey skies, hovering over a shadowed land.  I am grateful to be alive, and grateful to feel cold.  As it is morning, I have made a warm bowl of oatmeal and cut into it a small apple before cooking and I am sing a tiny teaspoon to consume small mouthfuls of the sweet natural warmth.  Morning fuel for my body.

I am taken in my mind and heart to revisit a past where my father yet lived and had oatmeal every single morning.  He did not add the apple, and sweetened his with refined white sugar instead and floated a jug of milk on it.  He passed away in 1984.  My older children were younglings then.  Tess who most recently gifted the family with sweet lovely Abigail was a mere little one herself and dandled on his knee being fed small mouthfulls from his very spoon.  Yet now she is fully grown.  

I vsit in my thoughts m own mother, who to this day - winter and summer still has oatmeal to begin her each and every day.    And I have avoided it all my life - until now and find I rather like it.  This makes me smile.

The house is full of snug snuffling and sleeping bodies - plus me; awake.

Good morning!!!

I have a noon 15 appointment with a personal trainer.  I will be buying white jazz shoes for Leonnie for a school recital.   I am seriously considering buying Leonnie and Geni each some boots....

As my borthday is coming round so rapidly, I am trying to think of what I wnat to do and how the family will celebrate this.  Mum is a fan of Fu Lin but aftwr mothers day and feasting far too much I suspect the rest of us want a Fu Lin break.  That said I will happily cut a cake at Mum's on my birthday.  Any ideas or suggestions??

Amy sent me a text telling me she was wrapped in the blanket I knit for her two years ago and she thanked me for the soft warm gift.  Each of my children has a custom knit blanket and I have enough pieces for several more.  mental note to self sit, match up and sew in my spare hours..  This years I am working on something rather special for someone rather special...  I can't wait to send this.  Guess I will have to finish it first!!

What  does your weekend hold for you?

Morning...in the dark.

Gymclothes on CHECK

Shoes on CHECK

Gym bag packed and by the door CHECK

Hair brushed CHECK

Workclothes CHECK

Work shoes CHECK

Jewellery CHECK

Bus ticket CHECK

Train ticket CHECK

Coat CHECK

Soemthing to read on the train CHECK

Drink coffee - underway

Made and delivered Geni's lunch, and prepared her white blouse and put out the hair straightener.  I will telephone her from the gym to make sure she is up and again when I am on the train to make sure she is out the door in time for the school bus.

Oops time to go 

*peeks at seldom sighted sunshine****

Good morning, as Tuesday crawls steadily towards lunchtime.  The weekend is over and the house is still a bit chaotic as the washing and drying I wanted to get done, well - between social and fitness and wetness, c'est la vie!!

The fitness challenge is progressing well.  I suspect I picked the best time as after two days and two gym sessions plus 4 hours dancing and another session, my legs are telling me loudly and long they are there. 

I have noticed this morning ( Day 2 of early arising to got to the gym) that a quiet voice in the back of my mind kicks in and tries desperately to persuade me to stay wrapped in quilting just 10 minutes more...or "since you are going to the gym after work , why go this morning? Stay here, write in your blog, chat with your friends....".  Interesting what speaks to you and tries to control you.

Since I have committed to this wellness journey, I am more conscious of the need to break old patterns, accustomed ways of behaving and living and doing things.  A shake up is galvanising!!!

So, here I am, feeling happy with myself and determined to see my way through this 12 week challenge. 

What does your inner voice say?  I have realised you are able to break old subversive patterns in the way we talk with ourself.  I am conscious that I CAN do this.  Not that I will start and not finish, then then give myself 5 different acceptable excuses.    I want this investment of time in myself.   I want to give this example of self love in a positive way, to those I love.

Goodmorning Noah - where is the Ark??

Goo morning all from a wind swept and rain sodden world!! The valley I sit here looking out over as I type is a breeding ground for clouds and the rain flings itself steadily downward drenching and soaking everything.  I can hear it.  I can almost feel it - yet I am grateful I am inside and warm sipping my second thick black fragrant coffee of the day and eating a bowl of oats cooked with half a cup skim milk and a small chopped apple with a teaspoon.  

The sweet glutinous warm is a sensation that is comforting.  As I nibble my way through this,  think of my father who ate a bowl of oatmeal every morning.  I think of my mother now 82 and still following this habit.  I feel their spirit acutely alongside me.  And I am grateful for their love and nurturing, for their lived example of the true meaning of love and for being inside while it is so deeply and vigorously sodden outside!!!

I adored Star Trek and found myself smiling at all the allusions to the first series.  I sat on the very edge of my seat totally engrossed for the entire 2 hours and 2 minutes and hardly noticed time ticking over.  The action was superb and the characterisation was effective and believable.  I want to go again!!!!!!!  But Terminator: Salvation is soon to be released so that and the second Transformers is on my list.  Terminator simply because the very first of this series was the most heart breaking romance movie I had seen up to that point...  STOP IT - DO NOT LAUGH AT ME!! I mean it.   Imagine someone loving you so much they would come across time for you?  Who would not want to be loved like that???

The program for the day runs something like this; breakfast and a lazy languid start, a shower and a quick tidy and then into Hornsby for a coffee out, a 6mm crochet hook and a wander round the shops ( new boots mayhap??? or perhaps something irresistable to wear this evening and certainly a new book as I have read everything available here up to and including labels on cans....)

Once home I will stow my bots and bobs and dress and head into town to meet my grown up gerlies as we are going to dinner followed by a session of latin dancing at Vivaz.  I adore dancing and I am so out of practise.  I am also out of practise trudging out and about socially so this is a nice toe in.   

I have signed up for a 12 week fitness challenge and will explore the gyms locally.  I have seen two which might do, where I might pop in on my way home each evening which will work to helping me achieve my goals.  As I age it has become obvious that what one doesn't use, one loses.  I have had a series of health issues across the last five years that show me I need to keep my body finely honed and well nourished and to be as fit as I can - just in case.  I am treating myself with the same level of consideration and care I treat those I love.  This is good as an example and also acknowledgement of investing in health.   ( okay - I will put away my soapbox!!)  I am aware I have aged well, thus far and wish to continue, in a healthy and productive way!!!  I will be the very BEST me I am able to be.    I do so adore having goals.!!!

What are you plans for this day?

Storms and angry weather

I live at the very end of a valley where noone lives except a creek and the tributory of a large river.    I also find it delightful to wake to the sounds of parrots and cockatoos and the raucous laughing of kookaburras who seem to think my backyard is their personal hunting ground.   Right now a chorus of lovesick frogs serenade the momentary cessation of the wild wind and bucketting storm.  

The weather was so angry that I woke many times through the night as whole rivers cascaded down the gutters and spilled like a dam overflow down the walls.  Inside we are safe and dry, but outside the elements are showing us that man dreams if he believes he can tame this.

I love it.  I glory in this violence and the sensations that come with it.  Even though I battle to maintain my precarious health, I adore each and every moment here listening to this.  The very wildness strikes a chord deep within me and I rejoice in some primal way.

Good morning all - as my friday begins.

Tonight I plan to take in the new Star Trek movie as Geni is with her dad and I believe it is time to take some time.  Tomorrow night it is dinner and dancing at a latin club in the city with my grown up girls.  They love to dance and share this with me, so watch out Sydney, we are out and about!!!  Sunday we have a soccer game just before lunchtime but I doubt this will go ahead with the weather as it is - in fact, if this continues I can see it being rained out with the grounds closed.  

Time for my shower and to get myself all gussied up for work.  Have a wonderful day all of you.  I know my American, Canadian  and European friends have summer in their care and I am glad they ae making the most of it and caretaking for me.  But I find beauty in this dark loud and almost-angry world we inhabit down here now.  Today I am alive and breathing and I delight in this and the possibilities which lie before me.

quick sneak into here

I should be getting dressed but the wind is throwing the rain at any surface from any direction and listening to the tempest raging outside I am enjoying my corner of warmth snuggled in the lounge.

Stormy, wet, windy, cold.
Welcome to a Sydney winter.

I have so many thoughts racing around inside my brain but lack only the time to allow them to find their way down here. Hopefully a little later will see this happen.

Until then,
good morning all!!!

On Teenage Girls and Men

During my current and brief tenure as manager of a Teenage Girls Soccer team, I have noticed common complaints regarding the way dad's ( or male authority figures) talk to or about teenage daughters.  The girls, themselves have much in common.

here are my observations:

Men point out the flaws and faults to demonstrate opportunities for change and growth and to make teenage girls think.  Please note this does not work.  teenage girls see the constant dwelling on the negative and picking at them.  They then think no further and simply feel.  Teenage girls benefit not one jot or iota from this.  

To reach a teenage girl and effect change, firstly praise the good you do see ( even if at that moment it is infinisimal!!).  They will then ( liking praise) do more of said good behaviour.  And no ( all men reading!) THIS does not mean you are lying to them.

The other thing you must do is check your ego at the door.  There is enough sense of self worth ( however unfounded) in a teenager...there is not enough room in the building for another ego.   Your partner/wife also expects this behaviour form a teenage female. She was one, never forget - she never has forgotten.    Said partner/ wife also expects you to be an adult and not become a teenager emotionally in knee jerk to the tounts and slings and verbal arrows form the teenager.  Remember this mantra:

"The only way to win is NOT to play!!"

What does work, is picking your battles.

Then pick your time.

Remember if you link her behaviour to something she wants from you, there is more likelihood you will get it.

You can say no.  Do not discuss it more than you choose. Do not rise to the bait and get into verbal knots - you only lose!!

Bury them at 11 and dig them up at 30... it applies to both girls and boys and remember to love them anyway and don't give up!!!  We all want a love that loves us anyway.  Model that love. 

Weekday mornings...the start

I wake before the sun so many time.  

The alarm is set for 5.30am however I am usually awakes before it and turn it off so as not to disturb those sleeping.

Around the house I pad, barefoot or sock clad.  I know (even after such a short time) the sounds and sighs of the floorboards in this place, so I walk so as not to creak and clack.  The house and I conspire to ensure the others sleep still, while I quietly fill these first hours.

The jug in the kitchen sings and bubbles a burbling song while I visit the bathroom for my shower.  My clothing has patiently sat on a chair near the loungeroom doorway all night eager for the day ahead, and on my way back to the kitchen I layer the clothing dropping my night wear into the dirty linen basket.   I pick up my earrings and necklace, sitting beside my clothing and attach and drape them as I pad to make my coffee.

On the way through I turn on my laptop and sign in making coffee and Geni's lunch while it works its way into wakefulness.  We sit together and I take my first coffee moments o read those I am able to, check my Farm Town crops and always keeping an eye on the time.

I check my bag ( or bags) ensuring I have everything I need.

I take Geni's lunch to her and kiss her hello then head into my morning.

The images above show my morning, currently. Right up to the short bus ride to the station.

Mothers Day, albeit late

The number of mothers in my direct family is increasing rapidly.  I suppose that will happen when one gives birth to 2 sons and 5 daughters.  On top of that, we still have my own Mother (affectionately known to all as G-G), so it was quite the celebration.  But I have already outlined the Family Zoo celebration and delight.  For me this is about Motherhood and my personal gratitude to still have around me and in my life, my own Mother and to here acknowledge what she has helped me to see and be.

My mother is my very best friend.  There is nothing I cannot say to her or offload onto her.  She listens and certainly doesn;t always agree but lets me bounce my thoughts and more importantly, my feelings off her.   If she could physically help me she also would but those days are gone.  I well remember 15 to 20 years ago when I was a very young mother juggling many young children and two jobs and study when Mum would turn p to visit after catching two buses and walking a fair ways with her cleaning clothes in her bag!!  Touchy me, in those days - I felt it was a criticism about how I kept my home.  But the simple truth was she JUST wanted to help in any way she could because she saw what load I was carrying.

Truly I can state that it is easy for me to love because my mother has lived love for me.    I was not always wise enough to see what she did or what she was or even what she was teaching me, but in retrospect I am grateful for every lesson she lived and for being who she is. 

Homework Leftovers

Geni and Leonnie did "homework" and took over the lounge room Saturday evening.  It was such a joy to me to see them choosing to do this without being nagged and together and companionable as well.  

They even cleaned up the mess.

These small moments an small things slip by us if e do not capture them.  It does not have to be with a camera, but life races by so quickly, I want to hug to me every happy moment.

Right now I am having my first coffee of the day and sitting in my winter layers.  Tights, leggings, a shirt, an overdress, a cardigan ( and I haven't even thrown on my coat yet.   Yes.  Winter lives with us right now.  Still, it is winter without snow and with chilly early mornings and after darks but lovely long blue mild days.

Wednesday and after work we will pop out to see Mum.  I am so grateful for each and every moment we have with her after nearly losing her last year.  My CE lost her Grandpa last night so I am too aware of mum.  

Mothers Day

7.30am   Time to get up and drink a coffee before Geni gets up to get ready for soccer ( early game this week)

8.00am  Leonnie teeters out with a handmade book of vouchers as a gift and she and I worked on her pencil box.  She designed and cut the wood and made this an she is now decorating this as a technology project.  Nicely done as well I must say!!!  We had spent time saturday  and Friday evening painting and developing the concept.  This is the finished product!!( see above)

8.45am Collected by Nadia's mum, completed the game card, spoke with the ref, organised a linesman to run half the field.  it was cold and wet so th girl played on and got drenched.  They won 3-2.  

11.30am Home again.  Hot shower for Geni, chase Leonnie to finish up and pack up everything she needs for school and the return to her dad's place.  

12.00 On the road to collet Mum.

1.00pm Lunch at Fu Lin with Family Zoo. Tess, Erik, Lizzie and Abigail; Mum; Amy, and we lot.  Pandy Nick and AJ couldn;t make it.  The older girls clubbed together and bought me a Pandora bracelet.  The wrist links were too large for my wrist so they will return this, but I have my first beads too.  

4.00pm All back to Mum's for coffee and cake (pavlova and chocolate mud) and I ended up with a surprise bunch of palest pink long stemmed roses as well from the two youngest.  

6.00pm Went to drop Leonnie back to her dad's.  He was not there and suggested she just go inside alone and wait for them.  I POLITELY texted him advising that there was no way we would leave one 13 year old girl there alone.  We were happy to wait. ( Breathe Maggs.  Calm down Maggs..  grrr #$...**)  Did I ever tell you I dislike that man???  Or his values are not my values??

Geni is grumpy as a bear with a sore paw as her latest beau is seeing someone else.  Big deep breath.  

Morning world!!

Seasonal change

It is winter.

I know it is winter because I hug quilting to and around me at night....in summer I lie with as little on as possible with all bed clothing pushed to the bottom of the bed.  Usually it is a sarong curled and tied that lightly drapes.  

In winter, I pull socks onto my feet to pad around the house, and in summer my naked feet kiss the carpet and tiles my toes rejoicing in the redeeming coolness.

In winter I like sleeves and layers and textures ( not scratchy) whereas in summer, light and filmy is the go.  And no sleeves.  

In winter once I have divested my work clothing and mien, I haul on something long and warm and layer my top half then I curl into the corner of the lounge and wrap around me one or more throw rugs, all soft and warm ad as I sit and drift or orchestrate between bouts of cooking and organising, I knit or crochet.  he wealth of hand made and crafted winter odds and ends grows apace ready to gift to those I love.  It keeps my hands warm and my fingers nimble, also.  In summer I line the leather of the lounge with a cotton bedsheet so limit sticking.  No covers required.

Winter reminds me of days gone by when money as scarce and a growing family clamoured for food.  Always on the back burner on low I had a pot of soup bubbling.  The soup always started with bones and lentils and veges, cooked until thick and fragrant.   If anyone walked through the door I always had something hearty and warm to offer.  Freshly bakes bread and a bowl of my soup.   Into the pot as the week went by went all vegetable peelings and more water, apple cider vinegar and a plethora of spices, and the soup reinvented itself and never emptied.  I still keep and freeze bones form meat and chicken, and as winter grows around me and temperatures drop, a least once a week I make a huge pot.  One never knows when family zoo may descend!!)  Winter is self saucing puddings and custard and whipped cream ( nothing like a little over kill!!)

Summer is all light meringue with clouds of whipped cream, topped with stone fruit and passionfruit.  Fruit and yoghurt,  grilled meats and salad mixes.

I need to do a shop sometime today.  I believe I will pick up a ham hock, some bacon bones,  some dried split peas and a bunch of celery and some bratwurst and a fresh rusty loaf and split pea and ha will be on the menu.

Into a huge stock pot, throw the hock and the bones, cover with water and boil until the met begins to fall from the bones.  

In a microwave safe bowl, throw the split peas cover with water and microwave for 10 minutes.  Stand.  This prepares the speas without the need to bring to the boil and soak overnight!!

As the meat leaves the bones, pull the bones out, roll up your sleeves and as the bones cool, strip the meat and throw back into the stock pot. It doesn;t matter if it is in chunks.   Top up with water and add the drained split par cooked peas.  

Chop the entire bunch of celery ( heads and all) nd add to the pot.  

Bring back to the boil, then turn down to a rolling simmer and let cook until it smells done, stirring occasional.

Brown the wurst, slice into generous rounds and add to the pot before serving.

Imagine this with warm fresh crusty bread....

One pair of socks

On my toes and feet the last couple of days, whenever I have been at home, has resided a fantastic pair of thick black socks with an ankle collar of fake fur.    I am someone who feels the cold, yet these socks have radically transformed my winter experience.  

My feet are warm, therefore I am warm as toast - seemingly all over and sometimes even hot!!  

These socks are special because they arrived in Australia from a special friend and dear lady; Lori in the Netherlands.  I want to say what a special and thoughtful friend she is, but more than that - even though these arrived in the midst of my summer, now winter is here they are a true blessing.  And each time I pull them on, I think of her and the gift of her friendship.

If it were not for the net and happenstance, and so many other "ifs" this friendship would not have started and grown.    Lately I have been enormously busy ( as has she) but I want her to know and all of you I have grown to know and love and look for, that if I may be a tad absent, it is only temporary and I think of you even if I am unable at this time to spend as much time reading you as I would prefer.  

Bittersweet teens - Black humour alert!!!

I know I tend to look at emphasise the positive, but the simple truth is that like everyone else I have my ups and my everyday downs.  Surviving teenagers is a very delicate balancing act, so I want to share some of the grit and the glory - so to speak.  There are times I can almost believe that teenage daughters are God's punishment for having sex in the first place.  I can say this because I have five daughters ( some thankfully now out of their teens and on their way to raising teenagers of their own!!) two of whom are currently going through this hormonal right of passage and as different as chalk and cheese.

There are four things you will NEVR hear your teenage daughter say:

1.          "I don't need money.  I am going to get a part time job and be self sufficient!"  With our Prime Minister's stimulus package and the promise of $900 per person last evening on the walk from the bus to the door Geni asked (a)if I had received mine and what was she getting from that!!!  She also asked (b) at what age the Family payment should come directly to her and she informed me she still wants pocket money as it is not enough.  I pointed out (a) I had not yet received that money and that I would buy a replacement fridge when it comes in and maybe some furniture for the rumpus area and (b) that her father still claimed her and received this money so I had no idea how much it was.  

2.          "Can I get you a cup of tea after I have unpacked the dishwasher and put everything away?"  I have been informed that irregardless of our agreements, IF I want her assistance then I must ask for it. So I have been told  Geni gets $25 a week.  From me.  The deal is that she does two loads of washing and cleans her room once a week.  Sneaky mum has also suggested that her room is cleaned, organised and vacuumed before she asks if she can have friends stay - because the answer will be no if she doesn;t.  She has completely skipped part A but always manages to clean at least once a week because with teenage girls bribery never fails ( remember that as a fallback - find something they want and attach something YOU want from her as a condition.) 

3.          "Drugs and sex are overrated.  I am going to plough my energy into learning Mandarin and algebra!"  Yeah.  Right!!

4.          "I don't ever want to go out with him again!  An incredible physique, a Harley Davidson and a recording contract are so overrated!"

What you will hear, though - 

"If you talk to my boyfriend again,I will kill you."

"Please don;t talk about that with me here.  I will tell you when I want to talk."

" What was the emergency with Chloe/Lucy/interchange name here that I was talking on the phone at 2am?  My friend needed my support.  It is just stuff."  (In fact everything becomes Just Stuff and she stops talking with you. )

"I am just having a few friends over" which translates as an open invitation to anyone in the country under 25.

"I just hate you!! I wish you would die!!" I should have typed this in caps as that is how this is flung down - usually when you have denied her something or money she has her heart set on, or permission to do something you know is not right or good for her.

Having consulted other mothers, it is clear that once a daughter starts into the teens she is taken hostage by hormones.  Having always preferred the natural look she will suddenly begin guarding her mascara and eyeliner more closely than a Columbian drug lord.  Her once pristine bedroom will become so unkempt that visitors wipe their feet before leaving, and her outfit chopice will make her look like she lives on the streets.    She will start dating a succession of boys who smell like dead rodents and have entire ecosystems under each fingernail.  You will try to placate your husband/partner by explaining that whenever the daughter is down in the sumps she will get herself a new boyfriend.  To which he will reply: "So THAT'S where she finds them!!"

So why do our teenage daughters all seem to have a "I find my mother contemptible" clause in their contracts?   Have we been too lenient?  Too keen not to replicate tyhe authoritarianism of our parents, perhaps we have been too lax in our discipline??

It seems to me that teenagers crave boundaries.  Daughters don;t want their mothers out on the "pull" ( like Fergie ( former Duchess of York) boasts of doing with her two daughters.  They don;lt even want THAT sex talk.  Not from their mums, at least.  In my house, any mention of the word "period" in a context other an Hellenic or Jurassic is met with derision.

Before I started looking for a loophole in their birth certificate I firstly examined myself. Have I been a good role model?  Think about it - it is our generation which has produced the corporate cowboys and  the reckless leaders responsible for the current credit crunch.    And lets not mention the way we have allowd big business to vandalise the environment.   Perhaps we need to vote in more inspirational leaders at the helm of the world as they see it to set better examples.  

Either way, I suspect mothering teenage girls will always make you feel you are testing the depth of the water with  both feet.   Yet it does get better.    Like rock hard butter, daughters do eventually melt into spreading consistency!!

Just today  Geni crushed me in a  bear hug and said she was sorry for being so grumpy the other day ( although she was raiding my change purse at the same time!!)  "When I was younger I just couldn;t believe how silly you were!! But now I am older ( she is all of 14) it is incredible how much you have learned in a year!!

Motherhood is like a beanbag - easy to get into and hard to get out of!!  It does have its cosy moments!!  Not that I am kidding myself - I suspect the first 40 years are the hardest!!

Meanwhile I will try to cut Geni some slack and keep my sense of humour intact ( black though it is!!)  Netx time she screams "I hate you! I wis you would die!!"  I will just smile sweetly take a swig of good red wine and reply: "I m doing my best , darling!!"

The world and time racing by

It is Tuesday morning and I am taking a short while before launching myself into the day to just breath and spend some time gathering my thoughts.

Geni is a "normal" 14 year old and in her mind the entire world revolves around her.

I have asked her to keep her bedroom door closed if she will persist in filing her clothing on the floor.

She leaves the door open and then gets very upset if anyone goes in there for any reason.

I have told her that her "privacy" will be respected IF she keeps her door shut.

She yelled ant me and I am ashamed to admit that yesterday, I yelled back.

I hate descending to that level. I hate letting anyone annoy me to the point that I just yell.

Well, Geni quietened down awfully quickly.

She wasn;t listening when I tried to talk to her and felt she could yell me down. But she was amazed and finally heard me out.

RESPEC T has to be earned. It is a two way street.  I have pointed out to her that my life is ALL about putting others before myself and constantly considering everyone; the food I buy often is not what I would choose to eat ( for example) and the food is THERE when they want it; her clothing is collected and washed and mended ( when required; I have signed on for managing HER soccer team ) which means some inordinately early starts on a weekend;  I have rearranged my work life to accomodate her schedule.. I could go on ( and last night I did.)

I have asked Geni to meet me half way.  I have explained that although she sees all I do as "my job", it in fact isn't.  It is the result of choices I make.    As all relationships are two ways, (give/take) I had the opportunity to point out that it is not all give my way and all take hers.  She is to think of ways to meet me half way.

I disliked intensely that she refused to listen to me and expected me to listen to her while she verbally attacked me.  I could, and should have handled this better.  I will next time.  

Morning rushings

Sunday morning - breakfast gulped down, doing the same to coffee waiting for the shower.  Two teenage girls and unless I sneak out and about before the sun, the wait for shower time can be excessive.  I keep reminding myself that is better than the alternate - namely smelly teenagers. 

* Completing the game card for Geni's soccer, throwing on a load of whites, reminding Leonnie of her pencil box/decoupage assignment......

*     Cannot log onto work email.  

*     I did a weekly menu and shop yesterday.  There has been rebellion in the ranks as Geni is used to going to the fridge and cupboard and deciding ad hoc what she would like.  There is some latitude for that, but for fiscal reasons as well as ease ( I do not wish to be a short order cook!!) we will stick to the menu.  I have bought in some yummies/lusties as well as the good stuff.   Also, as I am getting older, I am more aware that my body works better when adequately nourished.  So I am planning to ensure we all have all we need ( and not excessive amounts of anything naughty) to keep us as healthy and close to our comfortable weights as possible. 

Morning ALL. :))

Sunday sees me putting the full stop on last week, preparing for the coming week.

Soccer game at 11am.  

Stop and collect a few things at the shops.

Leonnie's homework.

Geni's homework

3 loads of washing.

Vacuum.

Spend some time - all of us, just sitting.  Together. 

Feed the kookaburras in the backyard.

Return Leonnie to her dad's this evening.

Think about what Family Zoo will do about Mother's Day next weekend..

Yawn.....

Saturday morning and the household is sleeping - except for me!  I need to skedaddle and collect some soccer id cards so that means an early morning bus ride and walk home ( that takes care of some of my exercise for the day!!) and of course I indulged my obsession/addiction with Facebook Application Farm Town.  Yes, little Miss I Have No Time for Gaming is curiously addicted to Farm Town. 

The sky is blue.  The weather is perfect for walking, and I am not wasting these precious moments.

Have a wonderful day/night.