On Teenage Girls and Men

During my current and brief tenure as manager of a Teenage Girls Soccer team, I have noticed common complaints regarding the way dad's ( or male authority figures) talk to or about teenage daughters.  The girls, themselves have much in common.

here are my observations:

Men point out the flaws and faults to demonstrate opportunities for change and growth and to make teenage girls think.  Please note this does not work.  teenage girls see the constant dwelling on the negative and picking at them.  They then think no further and simply feel.  Teenage girls benefit not one jot or iota from this.  

To reach a teenage girl and effect change, firstly praise the good you do see ( even if at that moment it is infinisimal!!).  They will then ( liking praise) do more of said good behaviour.  And no ( all men reading!) THIS does not mean you are lying to them.

The other thing you must do is check your ego at the door.  There is enough sense of self worth ( however unfounded) in a teenager...there is not enough room in the building for another ego.   Your partner/wife also expects this behaviour form a teenage female. She was one, never forget - she never has forgotten.    Said partner/ wife also expects you to be an adult and not become a teenager emotionally in knee jerk to the tounts and slings and verbal arrows form the teenager.  Remember this mantra:

"The only way to win is NOT to play!!"

What does work, is picking your battles.

Then pick your time.

Remember if you link her behaviour to something she wants from you, there is more likelihood you will get it.

You can say no.  Do not discuss it more than you choose. Do not rise to the bait and get into verbal knots - you only lose!!

Bury them at 11 and dig them up at 30... it applies to both girls and boys and remember to love them anyway and don't give up!!!  We all want a love that loves us anyway.  Model that love.