I was terrified facing the weekend.
No Geni or Leonnie, and empty hours and house.
It is now near Saturday evening and it is not that much different to a normal Saturday, as it has been.
I arose.
I spoke with Mum and Tess.
I walked for an hour and brought back some bleach.
I asked to meet and talk with Tony, and we successfully had a conversation without blaming one or the other.
And he went again.
And I cried until I fell asleep.
But there is more happening than my drama. I want to thank lermie for the stiff scotch he drank on my behalf and Chaz for just the right reminder at just the right time. I want to thank Jenny for the phone call checking up on me and Lori for her daily support and a whole list of other ( YOU know who you are Shannon, Diane, Lou, Tracy, Dianne and Bobby as well as Charmie ) who are holding up the corners of all I am.
I dozed for a few ours and the night now stretches before me.
Tess will ring the hospital at 7pm and if there is a bed available will book in and have a gel pessary, in the hopes of bringing the birth on. If nothing has happened before morning she will have her waters broken, so we look forward to meeting Abigail this weekend.
Life goes on.
So do I.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We're all here to give you whatever encouragement we can, because we love you. You must be excited, waiting for the arrival of Abigail. Better post pictures! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou will get through this painful time, Maggs. You are stronger than you know, and even stronger than the front you have been putting on a lot of the time this week to keep up appearances for others.
ReplyDeleteI am glad Tony was willing to talk with you. I don't get a sense of how helpful it was to you through what you wrote, but I hope that in some way it will prove to be helpful to you, either in terms of future reconciliation, if that is still possible, or in terms of leading you in the direction of closure - whichever is best for you in the long run.
Know this: You will not always hurt. You WILL heal! Give it time. Now is a good time to start exploring things you may have been wanting to do that, perhaps, you did not.
As you heal emotionally, it would be a good time to get in touch with and rediscover, YOU, yourself. Think about it. :)
Wishing you some joy in this weekend, and hoping your happy meeting with Miss Abigail is in progress as I write! *Ü*
*BIG HUGS*
{{{big hugs}} and much love-
ReplyDeleteGina
thinking of you- *hugs* Love you!
ReplyDeleteAfter going through this myself, I found out that you never get over it but you will get through it. (promise) I am sending you lots of love and hugs.....And as my Mom has always said, "And this too shall pass"
ReplyDeleteTake care sweetie
XX